Avoiding the Holiday Blues Tip #4

Protect and Serve

  Family.  Got to love them; or not.  Really?  This is the time of year when we have to deal with so many members of our family that we don’t normally relate to.  Now, we are thrown together for and extended period of time and that can really drive us all batty.  You know what I mean. Everyone has an “uncle” that’s a little “off”, a niece that’s not so nice, a brother that’s “finally clean”, an in-law that is more outlaw and of course you….the only normal one in the family..lol.

Here’s the problem in a lot of these circumstances; the wife sees it coming.  She knows the women are going to be stuck in the kitchen and she is going to have to deal with every family “dirty secret” there is. This is embarrassing to her and she hates to be around it.  She starts to fear the attitudes that are being exhibited and she can’t stand being there.   When she walks out of the room, she’s not sure if she will be the butt of the next joke or snide remark.  The only way for you to help her is: deliberately engage.  Your mere presence can set a better tone regarding conversation.  If you hear something that seems a little unkind, you can interject and redirect the chatter.  This is a skill that you can practice all season long.  This is how you protect your wife from any unwanted backhanded cracks that leave a mark/wound/scar every year.  It is up to you to make a difference.  Get away from the television and get in the kitchen, she needs you!

Wait, there’s more!  Your wife has told you she doesn’t trust “so and so” around your kids.  Thus far, you have never taken her seriously.  You thinks she’s overreacting and exaggerating her concerns.  Wake up!  It’s time to keep an eye on what’s going on.  How bad will you feel later if you find out that one of your kids was introduced to porn, pot, beer or sex at a family get together?  Sadly, I have heard that very story from several of my clients.  It is really hard to recover from those kinds of mishaps, especially when you get warned.  You don’t have to be a cop to act like one:

  • Stay alert
  • Know where your kids are at and who they are with.
  • Watch your wife, make sure she is safe.
  • You are the Spiritual Leader.

The hope is: you will choose to honor your wife and family.  These are precious moments that you can cherish or regret for a lifetime.  Spend some time preparing to be one with your wife, instead of catering to those that may or may not share your DNA.

“The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation. He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior—from violent people you save me. 2 Samuel 22:2b-3

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